Life Musings

Reflections of a single woman on her journey through life.

Category: Humor

Wine

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine… and those who don’t. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. […]

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Time for a Raise

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for thefollowing reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me […]

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Late Night Entertainment

I got this from a friend on MySpace… The Commanding Officer of a Regiment in the U. S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff and Battalion and Company Commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed […]

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New Rules

New Rules For 2008 by George Carlin New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them!? Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days–he’s mowing my lawn. New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are […]

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The Zen of Sarcasm

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of Me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. Don’t be […]

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Animal Lovers

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door – nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing […]

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